Embracing A Life Unexpected: What Goes Down Must Come Up.....Right?

Ok. Let's get this part of the post over. I just got a call from my hematologist reporting to me that my platelet count has indeed dropped. My count last time was 126, and a month later is now 108. Just a reminder the normal range that anyone's platelets should be is 150 to 400. Also a reminder that if my count is 80 or below I cannot have an epidural at delivery.

I hung up the phone and felt so deflated. I knew that the closer I got to delivery that most likely they number would go down but I was REALLY hoping that the number would just hover around where it was last time. It is still only considered mild thrombocytopenia until we get below 99 but this news for me was not what I wanted to hear. It is frustrating because there is nothing you can do to increase your platelets unless they fall so low you need steroids or a blood transfusion. We are not there yet and hopefully won't have to ever be. It is scary to me that I am only 28 little digits away from having no epidural and to remind you all of why I am afraid of the pain.....it isn't just the labor and delivery pain. It is the fact that twice now my placenta did not deliver after birth and had to be manually extracted. The pain of that was 100 times worse that the delivery not to mention so unfair. You have these beautiful babies that have just come into the world and are on cloud nine. Then the doc starts looking concerned and watching the clock and you hear whispering from the nurses and then you realize..........the placenta hasn't come out. I have been told you only have about 30 minutes after birth to deliver the placenta.

The other worry is that if I can't have an epidural then in the event of a C-Section, I would have to be put under general anesthesia and would be asleep for the birth.....and Hubby couldn't be in the room with me. And if your blood doesn't really clot all that well you really don't want to be having surgery. Ok. I can't go there. Too scary to think about.

So anyways, I am writing this post and moving on past the fear and the unknown yet again. I will certainly be brushing up on breathing techniques and looking up some acupressure techniques to help in case my only pain management is in fact mind over matter. I will pack the calming lotion and lavender pillows to help ease and sooth my mind and body as best I know how in a no drug situation and I will try to be positive yet prepared for anything.

My next check is in a month.....13 days before the due date. If I go into labor sooner they will do blood work first thing to see what the level is that day. Time will tell......................

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I finished sewing a Princess pillowcase dress for Marmalade's 2nd Birthday! She will look super cute in this and her sequined purple crown. I can't wait to see her in it.

Just look at it glitter!

Princess Marmalade........your gown awaits.

Her Crown


Last year's hat that I made for her. Oh how much she has changed in the last year. It truly does go by fast.

A blog I read called Mama Birth did a post yesterday called 50 Things I will Miss Someday......and this inspired me to do a little list myself of things I am looking forward to with this new baby. I won't do 50 but here goes:

16 Things I Look Forward to with Baby Girl

Seeing her! Will she look like my other 2 children that have the same blue eyes, long lashes and button nose? Those 2 could be twins.
Smelling her fresh baby head
Feeling her rose petal soft skin
First smile
First Laugh
Scrunched up legs as if she is still in the womb
Her grasping my finger
The look on my husband's face when he holds her for the first time
Naming her
Baby breath
Routing
Seeing how her siblings react to seeing her for the first time
Fine baby hair
Nursing her
Watching her sleep
Hearing her cry for the 1st time to let me know she is hear and she is ok