Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Pieces of My Heart, Part 4

She is a month old today!  Man, where did the month go?  At what point does she not be called a "newborn" anymore?  Well, she will always be my Newest Born to me.  My Sweet Chica.

I am going to try to wrap up this birth story here.  It won't be easy.  A month's time has past and "New Mommy" brain has officially taken over.  Things are a bit fuzzy here and there but let me try..........

I woke up at 3 a.m. with contractions.  Not "OMG contractions!" but enough to wake me and keep waking me throughout the rest of the morning.   I woke up at 5 a.m. and called the maternity ward to see if we were still ok to come in,  or if we were getting bumped because they were too busy.  She said we could come in but to wait an hour more.  I couldn't go back to sleep at this point for I knew it was going to be my daughter's birthday.  Scared, excited, anxious, emotional.  You name the emotion and I had it that morning.

We walked into the hospital not knowing how the day would play out.  I knew my platelet count the day before was 103 and wasn't sure if I was going to be able to have an epidural as an option for pain management.  We checked in and got settled.  It was nice to see such familiar faces of the nurses who we had gotten to know over the last 3 years from our other 2 children's births.  They were all so amazing that day and I can't be more thankful for how much they put me at ease. 

They took more blood right off the bat to do another platelet count.  They hooked me up to the monitors and low and behold I was still having those contractions!  Every 8 minutes!  This girl was making her own birthday and not letting someone pick it for her.  The nurses joked that they thought I just needed a "sniff of pitocin" to get things going and boy, were they right!  I was relieved at this because I felt the time was just right.  They got the IV started and then my blood work came back.  Platelets were now at 95.  @#%$#%!!  I was so afraid of what that would mean.  My doc was in the OR and we were kinda waiting on him to set up a game plan before they started the Pitocin.  A couple hours later he still hadn't come in to see me yet so a mid-wife checked me and she said that I was still at about 2 cm and 75% or so effaced.  Same as what I came in being.   She thought we should just go ahead with the Pitocin and let the doc know to come in and talk to me as soon as he was available.  I agreed and they started the drip at 10:30 a.m.    I was dying to know what the doc thought about the platelets now being below the 100 number cut-off for the epi.    I knew either way I had to be strong.  As the contractions grew, I went further into myself and focused on a positive outcome.  I had to keep my eye on the prize. 

The doc finally came in checked me and I was still about the same so he broke my water.  I used music, acupressure points, aromatherapy and breathe to get through and I was doing great if I do say so myself.  My husband  left the hospital to let our dogs out and grab lunch since I had only been on the pitocin for about a half hour or so.  By the time he got back I could no longer talk through contractions.  It took all my focus to relax and let the body do what it needed to do.  Pain with a purpose I kept saying to myself.  And yes, I was still chanting "Clear Eyes, Full heart, Can't Lose!"  It helped.  I finally got the ok for the epidural whenever I wanted one.   They figured that with the cut-off being at 100 and I was at 95, given my history that I was below 100 2 times in the past they would allow it.  I had to basically agree that I was aware that I could die or have serious complications because of this and believe it or not I said yes.  Seems weird to me now that I would agree to such a thing but I thought that if I was ok twice before I would be ok again.  It was always tricky for me to decide when  to ask for one.  You can't ask too soon and you don't want to miss your window of opportunity so to speak. 

At 1:00 the nurses switched out for lunch and at this point I was thinking I may need to ask for the epidural soon.  She checked me again and I was 6-7 cm and there was only a bit of cervix left.  I know if was time to ask.  20 minutes later I was getting the epidural and I was in SOOOO much pain while I was getting it I was kicking myself for not getting it sooner.  I did manage to make jokes after a contraction though about "singing" a song to the anesthesiologist.  It was more of a song of "OOOOOOOOOOOh OOOOOOOOh AAAAAAW AAAAAAAAAAAw OOOOOOOOOOh!"  I said after that, "how did you like that song?" which cracked up everyone in the room which was the nurses, my husband, my mother and sister.  My team of support.  For some reason this time around I didn't want to do much hand holding like I hand done in the past.  I preferred  to squeeze the bed-rail and not have anyone touch me.  Not sure the difference with this one but maybe it was because I know this my MY time and MY labor and I could and would do this. 

In the short time that is took to put the epidural in my back  and the nurses telling me to lay down on my back to spread the medicine around my body, things went into high gear!  As I was laying back I needed to push!  Like NOW!!  Right now!!!!

I remember the nurses saying to wait for the doc and not to push.  They said he would be here in 30 seconds and I know I through some nasty looks around the room.  Perhaps directed at my husband.  Not sure what he did to deserve that but he did get me pregnant!  It was his fault.

I screamed "I am pushing"  and "what do I do" and those now mean nurses said not to push and to breath threw it,  The doc arrived and said he wanted to see me push once.  I pushed and everyone saw the baby coming out!  He QUICKLY got on his scrubs.  I pushed 3 times and she was here.  Thank God she was here. 1:42 p.m.

Joy. Relief.  Love.  

Then another miracle happened.  My placenta delivered on it's own.  So, I kind of had this baby naturally.  Sort of.  The epidural never had time to start working and yet, I survived. And I do think with or without induction, she was having a birthday.  I did it!  We did it.

After she was born and placed on my chest she stayed there all day.  The nurses never took her away to do APGAR scores that I can recall,  they never swooped her away to be cleaned up or measured or weighed.  They just let us be.  I think they knew this was a special moment for us.  One not to be disturbed.  One to be cherished.  It was only much later in they day I found that she weighed 7 pounds and 6 ounces and it wasn't until late that night after she went into the nursery to be cleaned up, that I found her height was 19 1/2".    The stats didn't matter.  Scores didn't matter.  She mattered and always will.

The Mirena did not come out and is still in me.....somewhere.  The plan is to see the doc in a few weeks and schedule surgery to remove it.  More on that later.  My blood counts should go back to normal range soon if they haven't already. 

All the worry about her is over.  

Right now let me get back to swooning over this new love of mine.

Prayers answered...........even the ones I didn't know I had prayed for.......another child. 

Thank you for her.

Mama Nic

1 comment:

  1. Your birth story is lovely. Perfect. I am so glad that everything went smoothly. Thank you so much for sharing. Enjoy that beautiful baby!