Friday, July 20, 2012

Pieces of My Heart.....The Birth Story Part 1

As she lay here against my chest this morning, I realized I may not ever have an ideal time to tell this story.  So here I sit pecking the keys with one hand to at least begin it.  The birth story will be told in pieces, thus the title "Pieces of My Heart." 

I struggle with how much to tell, what is kept for only myself.  I feel a little vulnerable in sharing but I feel that there are some important things that need to be said about getting pregnant while using the Mirena,  somebody needs to tell this story.  The story of  an unexpected pregnancy, completing 39 weeks and one day of pregnancy, birthing a healthy baby, and still having the Mirena inside my body somewhere.  Location right now is unknown and will require surgery.

Settle in with a cup of coffee.  This is the story.  This is my closure,  or what closure I can have given the story isn't really over.

We beat the odds in every way on this one!  "Mirena is more than 99% effective at preventing pregnancy" says the Mirena website.  When I went in to my 8 week postnatal appointment from the birth of my middle child, the midwife and I discussed birth control options.  I haven't even considered an IUD until that conversation where she basically sold me on how effective it was, the health benefits, and the fact that as a Mom of two this was great because you put it in and forget about it for 5 years.  Seemed like a no brainer to me.  I read the pamplet of the risks but everything has risks and at some point you just say to yourself....."that will never have to me!"  Right?  Wrong.  Oh so wrong.

When I got pregnant one year after I had it placed I was shocked.  Stunned and scared to death!  I did read on the Mirena website that "Mirena may attach to or go through the wall of the uterus and cause other problems."    I also read "in the uncommon event you get pregnant while using Mirena, seek emergency care because pregnancy with Mirena can be life threatening and may result in loss of pregnancy or fertility."  

I went on to read "Over the course of 5 years, fewer than 8 in 1,000 women become pregnant while using Mirena. One risk of getting pregnant while using Mirena is called ectopic pregnancy, when the pregnancy is not in the uterus. It may occur in the fallopian tubes. Signs of ectopic pregnancy may include unusual bleeding or abdominal pain. Ectopic pregnancy is an emergency that requires immediate medical attention and often surgery. Ectopic pregnancy can cause internal bleeding, infertility and even death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you think that you're pregnant.
There are also risks if you get pregnant while using Mirena and the pregnancy is in the uterus. Severe infection, miscarriage, premature delivery and even death can occur with pregnancies that continue with an intrauterine device (IUD). Because of this, your healthcare provider may try to remove Mirena, even though removing it may cause a miscarriage. If Mirena cannot be removed, talk with your healthcare provider about the benefits and risks of continuing the pregnancy."

I had been feeling nauseous for a few weeks.  I was so tired I could barely function.  I had spotted but not had a period the last month.  I thought, well I am the Mama of a two year old and a one year old  and work an hour away from home 40 hours a week, of course I am tired.  Maybe I ate something that didn't agree.  Maybe I am getting sick.  They say that the Mirena causes your period to lighten or stop completely and may take a year to do so.  So I attributed the spotting to being on the Mirena exactly one year and that is what was happening.  Besides, I could still feel the strings and know it is still there and I JUST had my annual exam last month to and she assured me everything was fine because she too could feel the strings so placement was never a worry.  The signs and symptoms and fears intensified and when I just knew that I had to be pregnant I took the test.  I thought if I wasn't pregnant then something is seriously wrong with me and I need to see a doctor as soon as possible.  Maybe I have some horrible sickness. 

I took the pregnancy test and right away........positive.  My heart sank.  I HATE to say that my heart sank knowing what I know now but  I was scared for my family.  Not just how can we manage another baby but I was scared for the life of the baby and for my life too.  It is no joke the risk that is involved here.

I go to the doctor's and take a urine test.  Positive.  They do an ultrasound and the room was dead silent and tense.  There she was on the screen.  Proof.  A baby. 

The doctor had to ask the question of whether we are keeping it.   Yes.  I never thought of not keeping the baby.  Not ever.  As scared as I was I knew in my heart that if this baby was so intent on beating the odds and coming into this world, who was I do determine whether or not she could be born.  And besides, knowing that she was made out of love and would have a secure family that would welcome her with open arms, I was routing for the little one from the start.  Love beat fear.  It was as simple as that!

The doctor explained the risk of miscarrying on the spot when he tried to remove the IUD, yet we had to try and remove it for keeping it in had greater risks than taking it out for me and baby.  He tried.  He could not remove it.  He did another ultrasound to try and find it.  He tried one more time.  It wouldn't budge. It was lodged in my uterine wall.

So needles to say, we have beat the odds already by getting this far.  I was about 7 weeks along and knew we had a long road ahead.

This was our family at Disney while I was pregnant and didn't know it yet.  Just after this trip I came home and took the test. 

to be continued...........................

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